colleen douglas aka forcefield girl For a grrrl in her early 30s, Colleen has certainly seen a lot of the world. Mostly, tho, it's been through greasy drone robot smoke or while tied up and ranted at by a super villain with a suit of armor and a bad attitude. Blessed with formidable forcefield powers, razor-sharp tactical skills and flat-out cleverness, Col's main super powers are her sharp tongue, keen technical ability, and extreme hatred of all things cute and girl-y. Her dream date: an evening spent with a certain crush-y cyberneticist. >you know who you are - pick the phone and give her a $%^&# call!<

jennifer diane ross aka wonderfulness woman Early in life, Jennifer Ross had a career choice - super (and we mean SUPER) model or crime-fighter. Luckily, with a little convincing from Colleen, Jen chose the path that involved more ass-kicking, less runway. Frankly, the idea of a diva-y super model with her super-human strength scares us more than just a little... As a founding member of The Useless Superheroes Jen is in on all policy, strategy and tactical decisions. And if by 'is in on all decisions' we actually mean 'spends a lot of time arguing with Colleen' - we think you get a bit clearer picture.

the fork Enigmatic, exotic, beyond mystery! Such is the life of The Fork! "Why is he here?" "What does he want from us?" The underworld cowers and whispers questions like these every night - "Is he really made of metal?" "Is he a UFO alien?" "Ahhhhh - I heard there's a zipper on his Fork suit? What - no zipper? How can that be?!" What lawless types who cross him DO know - The Fork is a crime-fighter's crime-fighter - driven ceaselessly to judo-kick crime in its big, fat, law-breaking ass every single night.

J. Everette Breadwell, Esq. aka Toastman J. Everette Breadwell loves all things self-help and self-realization. When not on call or patrolling the city as Toastman, Breadwell can be found participating in self-transformation seminars or attending 'Effective Steps of Habitual People'-type meetings. Toastman is physically the most exotic of all his teammates - which overshadows the fact that he's mentally and spiritually just about the most well-adjusted, even 'ordinary' by some standards. He shares a paternal or fraternal relationship with the younger heroes in the group - they truly get his way of living that incorporates respect, honor, integrity, and being there for folks in his life. His civilian disguise is basically XXXL-sized clothes over his 7-ft tall toast body - remember, he's rich, and has a great tailor.

Warren Swarthington aka HydroForce-i-nator (aka The Flush) So my boy Warren is all playing pro B-ball for the Seattle Load Shifters, right, when the night of the big playoff game in '99 - some dudes from the Portland Timber Weasels come on down, lookin' all spicy and shifty and then >BAMMM< my boy gets a body full of that radio-active they put in his shower shizzle, my dizzle. But, y'see, it kinda worked in reverse - because he's all "I gots SUPA-water powers now! Eat it, beeeeotch!" and zapps those mugs like my mom's laundry - like >KA-POWWWW<! SUPA-water power! The Flush? Awww, Forcefield Girl - she don't know what's what when she gets all CRAZY and mad, yo - what's up with her calling my boy 'The Flush' anyways? >TSSSKK< Man. But we don't have to get into all of that right here.